Background Conversations

Within every organization and community a set of unspoken agreements permeates the culture, shaping how things are done. These deeply ingrained assumptions often go unquestioned, limiting the potential for change and growth. These silent rules, such as “a good excuse is as good as a job well done” or “don’t bring problems to management”, form an invisible framework that defines the organization and sets boundaries on what is considered possible. Newcomers to these communities are initiated into this culture through informal channels like casual chats at the water cooler, elevator conversations, or Friday night “happy hour” gatherings. These unwritten rules, once derived from specific circumstances, may no longer hold true. However, if no one challenges their validity, they persist as if they were the truth.

Background conversations do not necessarily indicate incorrect approaches, but they do restrict our choices. If we cannot see them, we cannot examine them and thus we remain unaware of the reasons behind our actions. As leaders, it is incumbent upon us to scrutinize the motivations behind our actions, and those of our teams so that we can make deliberate choices that align with our commitments.

Allow me to share a thought-provoking story that highlights the nature of background conversations. While its authenticity is uncertain, it’s value lies in the lesson it imparts:

The Experiment – Part 1:
 Five monkeys were confined in a large room. A bunch of bananas hung from the ceiling, positioned just above a ladder. After some time, one of the monkeys noticed the bananas and ran toward the ladder. The moment the monkey touched the ladder, all the monkeys in the room were sprayed with cold water. This sequence repeated until the monkeys learned the consequences: attempting to climb the ladder led to a distressing shower for everyone. After numerous repetitions, the monkeys understood the pattern, and none of them attempted to ascend the ladder again. The possibility of getting the bananas was not worth the certainty of a cold, wet shower.

The Experiment – Part 2: Once the monkeys had all learned this pattern and given up on climbing the ladder, the researchers removed one of the monkeys and replaced it with a new monkey who had not experienced the water spray. Predictably, the new monkey, unaware of the consequence, eventually noticed the bananas and eagerly ran to the ladder. The other four monkeys, familiar with what would happen, attacked the newcomer, teaching him a lesson through force. This pattern was repeated until the inexperienced monkey gave up on the bananas for good.

This process was repeated four more times, each time introducing a new monkey who was subjected to the same treatment. Interestingly, each new monkey, after attempting to reach the ladder and receiving a beating, joined in attacking the next newcomer, even though they were unaware of the original reason for this behavior. None of the new monkeys had ever experienced the cold water spray, yet one by one, they were taught that touching the ladder resulted in punishment. They adopted this behavior without any understanding of why. Even after all five original monkeys had been replaced—two generations removed from the cold water spray—the new group of monkeys knew “how things were done around here” and continued to enforce the behavior without any knowledge of the original cause.

This story illustrates the phenomenon of a background conversation and its effect on organizational culture. It may not be violent, and there may be no bananas involved, but when an organization develops a story about itself, that story can persist long after the original reason has faded away. Just as the researchers eliminated the cause of distress (no water was sprayed), the response had become ingrained, and the culture of the group kept it alive. Similarly, within organizations, background conversations subtly shape behavior and outcomes.

Consider an organization where the cultural conversation revolved around “offering only the best product to meet a certain need.” While this may seem like a positive stance, it can inadvertently overlook the real needs of some customers who require more affordable options. Recognizing this background conversation allowed the organization’s board to reevaluate its approach and explore whether it truly served both the company and its customers. As a result, they introduced a new line of products that maintained their commitment to quality while also addressing economic considerations.

In another instance, a company’s finance department adhered to the policy of “paying on net 60-day terms.” This policy was established when the young company needed to manage liquidity issues. Years later, when liquidity was no longer a problem, they discovered that this policy had, for years, made it difficult to attract subcontractors who preferred to work with clients who paid upon completion or even provided upfront payments. By challenging this background conversation, the company was able to reassess its accounting procedures and develop alternative payment options that better served both their needs and those of their service providers.

It is important to acknowledge that not all background conversations are detrimental. Some may indeed align with an organization’s values and objectives. However, as long as these conversations remain invisible and unexamined, their impact may go unnoticed. By actively identifying and assessing the background conversations within our organizations, we gain insights into the underlying reasons behind our actions. Only then can we truly discover what lies at the top of our ladder—the untapped potential and opportunities waiting to be explored.